When you play with my hair, you're actually making love to me. Did you know that?

At work I have nothing better to do (besides work) than look up random things. Todays random selection of reading material was "things we (woman) wish men knew about us". It seemed cheesy, and maybe it is, but these little bits of information are all so true and I feel it is my duty to let the male population know what is up. I feel like women are pretty straight forward, yet everyone (including women) is so confused about what we want! It is definitely maddening as a member of this gender, but here is my gift to men: While yes, I have chosen each of these facts because they are true for me, someone wrote them - so they must be true for many women.

Enjoy.




--If it ever comes down to picking between spending time with your girl and playing World of Warcraft you have bigger issues than not understanding women.


--We pretty much hate you when you order a salad. That's what we have girlfriends for. If you diet, we need to diet. So, when you order a salad, you're essentially calling us fat.

--ZZ Top was right: Knowing how to rock a suit or dress uniform will noticeably increase your sexiness. We don't know why, but it works. Ditto with guitars. Unless, ironically, you look like ZZ Top.


--Be honest. Chances are we're just waiting for you to speak up and go after what you want so we can say 'yes'.

--We might be your best friend, but we'll never be one of the guys. So no, we don’t want to come smell that.

--A hug followed by eye contact followed by pushing our hair behind our ear followed by a soft kiss takes less than twenty seconds and says far more than a verbal apology.

--Imagine the worst charley horse you've ever had, and place it somewhere between your bellybutton and your butt hole. That's what we mean by "cramps." Be sympathetic.


--All women are secretly made of solid gold.


--We're intimidated by you when you travel in loud packs. We think you're creepy when you're out alone. We don't trust you when you're out with a female "friend." Your odds are best when you're in a group of three or four. Or with us.


--Big, white, clean teeth.


--Our girlfriends have seen that picture we swore to you we deleted. This is just the way it works. It's best that you don't even bring it up.

--We judge you based on how you treat us when we're sick.


--When you play with my hair, you're actually making love to me. Did you know that?


--Men with dogs? Yes. Men with cats? Not so much

--Hold our hands when we're alone, hold our hands in front of our girlfriends — just hold our hands.

--You cannot imagine the amount of stuff we have to do to look this good. It's like a second job. It's much more than waxing and manicures. It's really weird stuff that would completely freak you out. Don't try to understand it. Just appreciate our effort.

--Bikini waxing actually isn't as painful as we let on.

--Escorting us into a room with your hand at the small of our back makes us smile.

--You know that body hair you're self-conscious about? We love it. It's the hairless ones that should worry.

--We like hand-holding and kisses on the cheek. We also like to be "manhandled." It's a fine line, really.

--If you don't touch us in public, the relationship is going nowhere—fast. (this goes for just brushing our hair back, or hand holding, or an arm around the shoulder - I'm not asking for slobbering pda...)

--We don't expect us to agree on everything. We actually want you to have an opinion.

--If I'm upset and I refuse to tell you why, it probably means I already realize my reasoning is stupid and I just need to let the hormones wear off. But if you keep yelling at me, I'll have a reason to be mad, so just feel lucky and leave me alone

--Don't ask why we're afraid of insects. Just kill the dang bug, already.

--We love it when you get specific. Saying you love a specific quirk or body part sounds a lot better than "you're pretty."

--Nicknames. We really love nicknames.

--It's not that girls don't like nice guys, it's that we can distinguish between genuinely nice and desperate.

--Sometimes the tacky stuffed animal you won for us at the carnival is better than the gold earrings.

--We love it when you're good at something you enjoy. We don't care what it is — sports, fishing; hell, even cross-stitching or tap dancing. We just like to be proud of you.

--Men, as a rule, should not wear necklaces.

--When breaking up with a woman, just do it. Gently but firmly say that you're no longer interested. Yes, it will hurt. Break-ups always hurt.

--If we offer you gum, it means we want to kiss you later. It's not an insult; just take the gum.

--It is not your duty to e-mail us two years after we broke up to tell us you're engaged, especially if we aren't speaking. You may as well punch us in the stomach.

--We don't even know what fantasy football is.

--There is a difference between putting on cologne and bathing.

--We don't all like chick flicks.

--We want you to love your mother. We just don't want you to looooovvve your mother.

--Every woman you've ever dates imagined what her name would sound like with your last name.

--We enjoy Twilight even though it's a four-volume installment of a fantasy you'll never live up to. It doesn't mean that that's what we want, and it doesn't mean you're not great

--Pants should cover your butt.

--We like it when you kiss the top of our head.

--We want you to have your "guy time." In fact, if you don't have a great group of men to hang around, it's a turn-off.

--More back massages.

--At the end of a first date, just call us the next day if you liked us. You can wait three days if you want, but it will only piss us off.

--If I see you treat waitstaff or cashiers poorly, I will probably never date you.

--We want dessert. We want you to order dessert. What we don't want is for you to ask us if we want dessert.

--Guys who go to Hooters to watch the game are usually the same guys who go to lunch at strip clubs for the free chicken-fried steak. Don't be one of those guys.

--Otis Redding said it perfectly: Try a little tenderness.

--Supersecret: Unless we're blind or have no night-light in the bathroom, the whole toilet-seat thing is exaggerated and meant to control you.

--We're not complimented when you call your ex a slut. She dated you, too. So what are we?

--We love the fact that it takes you only twelve minutes to get ready for anything, be it black tie or a basketball game. When it takes longer than that... what are you doing in there?

--We are all about our necks. Feel free to spend as much time there as you wish. (ooo, its gettin risque!)

--All women love to be referred to as 'm'lady.' As in, 'Would you like another chip, m'lady?'

--Everything sounds better when your mouth is next to our ear and you whisper it. Everything from 'Sorry about the smell' to 'I'm going to love you forever, m'lady.'"

--Even if we've only been dating a few weeks, don't introduce us as your 'lady friend' — or that's exactly what we'll become.

--When we fall asleep before the end of the film, it's because we are happy and relaxed, not because we're bored of Live Free or Die Hard.

--Men who wear sunglasses at night don't look cool, rich, or sexy. They look as if they should be holding a cane or following a dog.

--If we run into your ex-girlfriend in public, the first thing you should do is put your arm around us. And if we have to introduce ourselves, you are in big trouble.

--Pick the weirdest part of our body and compliment it. The left elbow, the forehead, shins. Just be creative.

--We hate baby showers as much as you assume a sane person would.

--If you defend a girl as 'really smart when you get to know her,' she is dumb. What you mean is, she's 'really smart for a smokin'-hot girl who is stupid.'

--Our friends are not your enemies, and our enemies better not be your friends.

--Women, much like men, are human, and thus appreciate it when you ask them questions about themselves.

--Less than .05 percent of the male population is attractive enough to ignore chivalry, and most women over the age of twenty-five prefer to admire such men from a distance.

--Women who have two or more brothers are less likely to be disgusted by you. (wink wink)