Complimentary backhanded compliments...what?

I want to preface this with saying that I understand that men sometimes don't really know how to compliment a woman in a way that makes her feel really good or special. I also understand that sometimes men just don't know what to say to women, therefore they sometimes make comments or compliments that are actually not very comlimentary. Finally, I also want to say that women are definitely more touchy and analytical when it comes to comments made by the opposite sex. (I understand my limitations and I usually try to work with them.) We over analyze, or we take a perfectly innocent comment or a very sincere compliment and twist it to be negative. I am not condoning this behavior, I merely speak from the heart.


With that being said, I believe that if one chooses to yell something out the window of ones car, it should be pretty dang important. As well as to the point - afterall, you only have a few seconds to get this vital piece of information across to the recipient while driving past them, so it leaves little room for error.


To explain this better, I will give an example of something that may or may not have just happened to me outside of the Kum and Go in Evans, Co.


I realized as I sat at my computer that I was in need of a cool beverage. Instead of drinking some of the perfectly good and nutritious water that we have abundant amounts of in our home, I chose to go to the Kum and Go for a delicious Vanilla Coke. (This is an establishment that I frequent, since I live only 2 blocks from it.) So, as I am leaving this gas station I see a very refined gentleman in a beat-up pick up truck, sideways baseball cap, and wearing a cut off muscle tee (in which there were no muscles to be seen, so it makes one wonder why this man would choose such a shirt). While heading to my car, this man decided that he absolutely had to tell me what he liked in a woman. I am normally very interested in these insights to the male psyche, but he yelled,

"Hey! I really like big women!" Winked, then went along his merry way.


It left me wondering, does he really like big women, or is he mocking me? If he does like big women, then why would he tell me this, unless he felt that I am a big woman. I have no illusions about my size, on the contrary I am very aware of it, since I do buy my own clothing. I also do not have any qualms about dating a man who likes big women, because I know that I like big men. Yet there is something very off-putting about someone yelling this fact out their car window, in a public place, where others may hear it. I wonder what his friends in the car thought of his declaration? Plus, I would prefer the man who felt this way to at least wear clothing that has not been altered by a rusty razor while the wielder is drunk.

The moral of this story, is that we should all be wary of "out of the car window shouters." These people are careless in giving their opinions and how they present themselves. Flinging their word vomit out the window, without regard to innocent passers-by. Any self respecting person, if they have something to say to another, should stop, get out of their car and walk up to the one they wish to say it to. What I hope this will accomplish is to make people realize, that whistling in someones face in a suggestive mannor, or making lewd and insulting comments to someones face just makes you look ridiculous. Therefore, the person who does this is ridiculous.

Nonetheless, muscle tee, I am flattered that you like big women, and that you decided to put me in this esteemed category.

Heavy in Your Arms - Florence and The Machine

I was a heavy heart to carry
My beloved was weighed down
My arms around his neck
My fingers laced to crown.

I was a heavy heart to carry
My feet dragged across ground
And he took me to the river
Where he slowly let me drown

My love has concrete feet
My love's an iron ball
Wrapped around your ankles
Over the waterfall

I'm so heavy, heavy
Heavy in your arms
I'm so heavy, heavy
Heavy in your arms

And is it worth the wait
All this killing time?
Are you strong enough to stand
Protecting both your heart and mine?

Who is the betrayer?
Who's the killer in the crowd?
The one who creeps in corridors
And doesn't make a sound

My love has concrete feet
My love's an iron ball
Wrapped around your ankles
Over the waterfall

My love has concrete feet
My love's an iron ball
Wrapped around your ankles
Over the waterfall

I'm so heavy, heavy
Heavy in your arms
I'm so heavy, heavy
So heavy in your arms

This will be my last confession
I love you never felt like any blessing
(Ohhhh)
Whispering like it's a secret
Only to condemn the one who hears it
With a heavy heart

Heavy heavy i'm so heavy in your arms
(i'm so) Heavy heavy i'm so heavy in your arms
(i'm so) Heavy heavy i'm so heavy in your arms
(i'm so) Heavy heavy i'm so heavy in your arms

I was a heavy heart to carry
my beloved was weighed down
My arms around his neck
My fingers laced to crown

I was a heavy heart to carry
But he never let me down
When he had me in his arms
My feet never touched the ground

I'm so heavy, heavy in your arms.

Heavy, i'm so heavy in your arms.


(click on the title and you'll be directed to the song :) )

Feelings in Quotes - part 2

Just to clarify - These quotes and passages that I am choosing are not meant to say that I have mastered all my insecurities or that I am knowledgable on all these subjects. On the contrary, all the quotes from part 1 and part 2 are things that I need to tell myself, or that I need to learn. I am only sharing them on here because it might help someone else, but also so I can hopefully be able to get the words out myself.

There's one sad truth in life I've found
While journeying east and west -
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.
~Ella Wheeler Wilcox

These quotes about Love, I take them to mean more than just romantic love. Yes, that is definitely one way to interpret, but I take these as about love in general, the love for your family, friends, and any relationship.


“Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.” - Swedish Proverb?

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love.” - Washington Irving

"The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread." ~Mother Teresa

"Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein

"A bell is no bell 'til you ring it,
A song is no song 'til you sing it,
And love in your heart
Wasn’t put there to stay -
Love isn’t love
'Til you give it away."
~Oscar Hammerstein, Sound of Music, "You Are Sixteen (Reprise)"

"Friendship isn't a big thing - it's a million little things." ~Author Unknown


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"He seemed to be talking about my fears, my insecurity, and my unwillingness to see what was wonderful because tomorrow it might disappear and I might suffer. The gods throw the dice, and they don't ask whether we want to be in the game or not." - Paulo Coelho

"Insecurity exists in the absence of knowledge." - unknown

"A competent and self confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity." ~Robert A. Heinlein

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” - Martin Luther King Jr.

“Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on.”-Maxwell Maltz

“Insecurity is selfish.” ~ Keri Harvey

Feelings in Quotes - part 1

I often have alot of trouble expressing my feelings (especially lately), not that I lack the desire, just a way with words. I feel that sometimes what I am trying to say doesn't actually come across the way I intended it, or I have something I want to say or express, but I am unable to formulate the necessary words/phrases/feeling etc. I have found that there are authors, historians, religious leaders,etc. that have already expressed a full range of human emotions, questions, fears, and sadness, so I will defer to them to somehow express what I am always trying to say.
I will say though, that this post definitely got away from me, but there are so many good things here, so many things I have been trying to say or I have needed people to say to me. So if you are willing, this is really good stuff. :)


"A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is... A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness. They have lived a sheltered life by always giving in."
C. S. Lewis

“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.” - C.S. Lewis

"We were promised sufferings. They were part of the program. We were even told, ''Blessed are they that mourn.''” - C.S. Lewis

“Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained” - C.S. Lewis

"What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step." - C.S. Lewis

"The safest road to hell is the gradual one - the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts." - C.S. Lewis

"Part of every misery is, so to speak, the misery's shadow or reflection: the fact that you don't merely suffer but have to keep on thinking about the fact that you suffer. I not only live each endless day in grief, but live each day thinking about living each day in grief." - C.S. Lewis

"I sometimes wonder whether all pleasures are not substitutes for joy." - C.S. Lewis

"If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would be without meaning." - C.S. Lewis

"One of this nation's leading pollsters, Richard Wirthlin, has identified through polls an expression of the basic needs of people in the United States. These needs are self-esteem, peace of mind, and personal contentment. I believe these are needs of God's children everywhere. How can these needs be satisfied? I suggest that behind each of these is the requirement to establish one's own personal identity as the offspring of God. All three needs, regardless of ethnic background, culture, or country, can be met if we look to the divinity that is within us." - James E. Faust

“Each of us already knows we should tell the people we love that we love them. But what we know is not always reflected in what we do. We may feel unsure, awkward, or even perhaps a bit embarrassed. As disciples of the Savior, we are not merely striving to know more; rather, we need to consistently do more of what we know is right and become better. We should remember that saying ‘I love you’ is only a beginning. We need to say it, we need to mean it, and most importantly we need consistently to show it. We need to both express and demonstrate love.” - David A. Bednar

"God's love is so perfect that He lovingly requires us to obey His commandments because He knows that only through obedience to His laws can we become perfect, as He is. For this reason, God's anger and His wrath are not a contradiction of His love but an evidence of His love. Every parent knows that you can love a child totally and completely while still being creatively angry and disappointed at that child's self-defeating behavior." - Dallin H. Oaks

"The Savior said: 'A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another. . . .'By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another' (John 13:34–35). Mother Teresa, a Catholic nun who worked among the poor in India most of her life, spoke this truth: 'If you judge people, you have no time to love them.' "
-Thomas S. Monson

and this is one of my favorite hymns -

Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing

1. Come, thou Fount of every blessing,
tune my heart to sing thy grace;
streams of mercy, never ceasing,
call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it,
mount of thy redeeming love.

2. Here I raise mine Ebenezer;
hither by thy help I'm come;
and I hope, by thy good pleasure,
safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
wandering from the fold of God;
he, to rescue me from danger,
interposed his precious blood.

3. O to grace how great a debtor
daily I'm constrained to be!
Let thy goodness, like a fetter,
bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
prone to leave the God I love;
here's my heart, O take and seal it,
seal it for thy courts above.


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The topic below kinda got away from me, So I'm making it sort of seperate from the rest of the quotes.

"If we discover a desire within us that nothing in this world can satisfy, also we should begin to wonder if perhaps we were created for another world." - C.S. Lewis

"The only length of life that seems to satisfy the longings of the human heart is life everlasting."
"Mourning is one of the deepest expressions of pure love."
-Russel M. Nelson

“Thou shalt live together in love, insomuch that thou shalt weep for the loss of them that die.” (D&C 42:45.)

"Before embarking on any journey, we like to have some assurance of a round-trip ticket. Returning from earth to life in our heavenly home requires passage through—and not around—the doors of death. We were born to die, and we die to live. (See 2 Cor. 6:9.) As seedlings of God, we barely blossom on earth; we fully flower in heaven." - Russel M. Nelson

“Ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.” (2 Ne. 31:20; see also John 17:3.)

"Since the creation of man, no fact of life has been so certain as death with the close of mortality. When the last of life’s breath is drawn, there is a finality comparable to no other finality. When a father and mother lay the remains of a beloved child in the cold of the grave, there is grief almost inconsolable. When a husband buries the companion of his life, there is a loneliness that is poignant and unrelieved. When a wife closes the casket on the remains of her beloved husband, there are wounds that seem never to heal. When children are bereft of parents who loved and nurtured them, there is an abject destitution comparable to none other. Life is sacred, and death is somber. Life is buoyant and hopeful. Death is solemn and dark. It is awesome in its silence and certainty. Appropriately did Sir Walter Raleigh cry out, “O eloquent, just and mighty death”....But death is not final. Though it seems so when its dark shroud overshadows mortal life, to those who accept the Christ and His eternal mission there is light and comfort, there is assurance, there is certainty." - Gordon B. Hinckley

“There cometh [one day] one of the rulers of the synagogue, Jairus by name; and when he saw [Jesus], he fell at his feet,
“And besought him greatly, saying, My little daughter lieth at the point of death: I pray thee, come and lay thy hands on her, that she may be healed; and she shall live. …
“While he yet spake, there came from the ruler of the synagogue’s house certain which said, Thy daughter is dead: why troublest thou the Master any further?
“As soon as Jesus heard the word that was spoken, he saith unto the ruler of the synagogue, Be not afraid, only believe” (Mark 5:22–23, 35–36).

“And now, after the many testimonies which have been given of him, this is the testimony, last of all, which we give of him: That he lives! For we saw him, even on the right hand of God; and we heard the voice bearing record that he is the Only Begotten of the Father— That by him, and through him, and of him, the worlds are and were created, and the inhabitants thereof are begotten sons and daughters unto God” (D&C 76:22–24).


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